clueless on how to do this.

hello all!

i have no idea how to blog. just a heads up if there are any extreme critics on blogging out there. the mere fact that i have gotten this far is a miracle.

anyhow... for whatever reason i have had the urge to blog for a while now. over the past two semesters i have taken up jotting my thoughts down in a journal occasionally and i think that may have initiated this urge. it's kind of scary to me though. putting my thoughts out there, to i think the whole world wide web (although i'm sure there are security settings i haven't stumbled upon yet), is intimidating. it's probably a vulnerability issue too - seeing as i plan on letting whoever chooses to read this in on some of the things God is showing and teaching me this summer.

so let's just start with what i have learned today-

first of all becoming a nursing major is stressing me out! it's funny actually because in one of the bajillion forms i have to print, read, sign, and scan (as the directions say time and time again) stated that i will be evaluated on how i handle stress. start praying for me now please :) but i'm glad in my weakness God always shows me He is bigger than i am.

i decided to spend some time with God instead of continuing to let my blood pressure rise - it was an excellent choice :) my aunt just gave me my birthday present - a bit late, haha - but it is a one year devotional entitled at His feet by chris tiegreen. today's verses are matthew 13:10-17 and it is titled a divine privilege. the scripture is Jesus explaining to His disciples the purpose of parables.

vs. 11 - " the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you. " i love it when i read scripture and can actually feel a slap on the face... haha. by that i mean when i read this i realized my stress is for absolutely nothing. i am privileged to have a brief description, a glimpse if you will to know what heaven will be like. i know that earthly treasure is not where my heart is... it's set on the eternal. so what i do on this earth is of absolutely no worth - except that i tell people about Jesus and what He did for me :)

i pray that is my focus as i venture into becoming a nurse, because i do know that is what God wants me to do... at least right now. He blessed me with the ability to understand and have a passion for science and the human body, how everything works together, how it is held together (go to youtube.com and search louie giglio - laminin... it's amazing). however, i know that He has bigger plans behind me becoming a nurse than i can even imagine. yes at the end of these next two years i will be congratulated on making it through the nursing program, i will more than likely find a job even in the midst of a failing economy because my profession will always be needed on this earth - but that's not what i want to be concerned about.

chris tiegreen says, " revelation is the key, and revelation is given to seeing eyes and hearing ears." and then writes, " the answer to all of humanity's questions, the pursuit of the thinkers of all generations, the mysteries of the universe - all are given to those humble souls who will take up this gospel and read it with hunger in their hearts to hear God speak. the answer to every why and what for is given not to brilliant intellects but to the common seeker. "

i want these next two years at radford university and for the rest of my life as a nurse to be centered on God's love. i want the reason i wake up in the morning, put on my scrubs, and walk out the door to a 12 hour shift to be: i know that i am entrusted with a knowledge, a treasure that not everyone else knows about - not everyone can see or hear, but i can :) i want my life to be an adventure of me chasing God's will and thus having divine mysteries opened up before me! i want to tell other people about it, so they can see and hear too :) stress is me doubting God's character - i pray for less of that and more of God speaking to me :)

God is so, so good.